Apr 24, 2014

Title quoted from an Of Monsters and Men song, I've been thinking whether or not to start making playlists and put them up here on my blog because good things should be shared, well that's what people tell me. Soon maybe when I finally become a little less selfish hahaha. 

This was my first beach encounter for summer! Spent the whole day with Etienne at BE resorts which also meant, she had to model for me. All photos are taken in film.

We didn't really go swimming much, I think the time we had for swimming was just 20 mins more or less but we took a lot of photos and also a lot eating and chilling by the beach. Definitely recommend BE resorts if you just want to clear your mind and relax because those cute outdoor furniture make life less stressful, okay maybe I'm exaggerating but seriously though, Etienne and I even fell asleep without noticing it.

The sunlight was amazng at 4pm, too bad I didn't really carry it well through my photographs, I think I .would have taken better shots if it was digital but I guess that's the beauty of film.

Etienne and I have been friends for a really long time now and even if we've had our indifference towards each other we didn't let it get through our friendship.

 While I was trying to come up with a title for this post, "not so juvenile" crossed my mind since ya know, we're in our 20s (I mean her & me in a few months) we are definitely not getting any younger so it's best to be enjoying life without that much responsibilities and problems. We've come to a really long road, from sleepovers, to making crazy youtube videos, going on adventures, traveling, staying up late, food tripping & etc etc, things that girl best friends do I think we've completed the list. 

And after a series of photographs, I just want to get some things out of my head and yes, through writing as usual (even if I suck at it)

So when people ask me what I want to be or where I wanna be in 20 years? I just stare at them blankly, thinking to myself I would want to be dead in 20 years. I'm sorry but I'm just not a fan of this whole cliche image of growing old, probably by that time old people would be in modernized futuristic rocking chairs holding up an iPad reading the daily paper on their porches... or probably not cause I live in a third world country but just the thought of getting old and having very little or no energy at all and not being able to do anything is just not my thing but I really have no power to choose when I want to end my life. Anyhow, if I won't be dead by then I need a back up plan and I've thought of one and it's pretty banging good (I think)

but honestly, I am just really terrified.

For some reasons up until now I do not know what I want to be. It's so weird because all this time I thought I had figured this whole thing out after I graduated high school but being in this current situation I am in, my eyes have been opened, the world has a lot to offer me but I don't know which door to take. Maybe I took Interior Design out of peer pressure from my family and dreaming to build an architectural firm one day along with my 2 brothers who took architecture & landscape architecture and my dad being another architect as well. On the other hand, no one forced me to take up Interior Design, it was my own choice and I did like it, it was pretty fun but I lacked a lot of motivation which was probably the biggest problem. I had too much on my plate that time and I forgot which should be my top priority.

We all have big dreams, I mean I have big dreams for myself. I want so many things in life, I want to be this and that but there's so little time and I don't think this life of mortality would allow me to be all of these and what's terrifying for me is that what if maybe I chose the wrong dream, what if one day I wake up and I don't want to do what I was doing. So much over thinking and over analyzing that I don't know which is the actual problem. This is why sometimes I hate my brain, oh wait make that most of the time.

My love for cinematography is still inside, although not fiery as it was before but it is still there and the ultimate question is should I or should I not spark the fire that was once burning? or shall I say TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

here's an ender photo (bec it has a film burn eeeep)

XX, Monica


  1. Huy let me see thr pic I took fory ou. Was it good. Hahahaha or blard.

    1. it's not in the roll :( i think wa ko nimu na picturan hahaaha

  2. hello monica. i think your blog is too boring. try adding some other churvabells sa imong sidebar. :)

    1. hi anon, i appreciate your suggestion but i like to keep things minimal :)

    2. okay but if u r to be a blogger jud like i-career jud, u need some links and buttons right there. u know what i mean? :)

    3. I think you mean the ads right? Yeah well might as well not put any ads rn since I'm not rly earning anything hehe. And I don't plan to make this as a career (??) blogging is just a thing I like to do

  3. Hi. How much did you pay for the day tour in BE? - :)

  4. Oh i see... thanks for the info. :)
    Please keep blogging, one of your followers here.. hehe

  5. I just found myself sitting for like a couple of hours and reading your blogs. You inspired me to make a blog. Thank you so much! Most of us are surely looking forward to read more of your blogs! xx


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